danger of giving

love that gave himself

(5th painting of Pursuing Love Series)

Artwork inspired by galatians 2:20

Keiko Yamada

Acrylic Painting on Canvas

24 x 30 inch

Today’s artwork is titled “Love that gave Himself". What comes to mind as you read this title? I would imagine you started thinking about various different types of love.

CROSS (Love that died for us)

I'm not much of a fan of Romantic movies.

I often get suspicious how such love can exist.

But I must admit, when the movie is about sacrificial love of a lover, friend, or family, it makes me weep.

That is because it often reminds me of what Jesus has done for us. His sacrificial love for us is most apparent in the cross, which is included in the left side of the artwork, because that is where He literally died for us to save us. 

I was 18 when I heard about Jesus, and I remember being deeply touched by this reality when several people shared the gospel with me for the first time. It moved me so much that I accepted Him as my Savior and Lord, gave myself to learning the Bible and began praying for hours with friends. The love was so overwhelming that it even led me to be an active participant of short term mission trips. 

DOUBLE CROSS (Living for Christ)

As you look at the cross closely in this artwork, you will see that it is not just one cross but two. One cross is overlapped with another cross. 

I painted the crosses in such a way, because of what it says in Galatians 2:20.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.

The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God,

who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

It is an overlapped cross, because we also have been crucified WITH Christ. At several missions conferences and seminars, this verse was used to encourage us to die to selfish ambition and give ourselves to mission, because that is what it means to live for Jesus. 

Deeply convicted and moved by such a message, it was difficult but I chose to die to my selfish ambition of wanting to pursue grad school in music, and to live for His cause by doing missionary work after college graduation. Eventually, I was serving overseas as a missionary for 7 years, and even went to seminary after that and served at church full time. Through those times, Jesus gave me more than I could ever ask for, and I do not regret being part of such a fruitful ministry. 

However, I also don’t want to shy away from sharing the messy part of the past ministries.

The ministry calls us to give to others around us, and unfortunately some people can take it for granted or even abuse it. Because it is often done using Christian jargon, I did not catch it as abuse or manipulation for a long time. 

“We won’t compensate you but God will reward you.”

“Do it by faith ( if it doesn't work, it's your fault).”

“Pray more (until you give me the answer I want to hear)”..etc.

Sometimes what I gave or asked to give excessively surpassed what I received and got burnt out. People affirm me while I can offer what's useful to them, and once I can't give or I refuse to give, their attitude toward me changes.

There was a danger in giving, and I’ve experienced it multiple times.

It is dangerous because it can leave us resentful, angry, and empty. Sometimes I had to cry myself to sleep and wonder, “Lord, I gave myself, youth, time, money, effort to your church and this is what I get? Why do you let them get away with it?”

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📖　Pause & Reflect

Have you gave something to somebody, later to be left resentful, empty, or confused?

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CROSS LOOKED DOWN UPON

A closer look at this artwork reveals a play on perspective. The cross on the left is seen from above, as if looking down, while the vibrant tree at the bottom right is viewed from below, looking up.

My view toward the cross started to shift, as I became resentful, angry and empty. I started to look down upon the cross. My service for Him looked as if it was a waste. 

This struggle lasted for quite some time. 

I knew I had nowhere else to go but Christ, because only in Christ would I find life. But I could not resolve this conflict in my heart for a long time. However, my understanding of Galatians 2:20 started to unfold in a different light, in the midst of this struggle.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.

The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 

Galatians 2:20

I was to crucify that resentful self that refuses to forgive as Christ forgave. 

That is when Christ truly can live in me, because that's the way He lived. 

Pride that demands revenge has been crucified with Christ, so that Christ in me truly lives through me.

LOOKING UP THE TREE OF LIFE

Last of all, I want us to focus on the vibrant tree at the bottom right that is viewed from below, looking up. The complete opposite of the previous perspective of looking down on the cross. 

We live in the world of brokenness, and enemy constantly seeks to kill, steal and destroy. We will constantly be tempted to resent. It may require a significant amount of grief.

Then should we still give? Is it wiser to stop giving and save ourselves from other headaches and pains?

But in reality, we have been crucified with christ, and we no longer live. CHRIST lives in us. The very person who gave Himself to us because He loved us.

As we continue to look up to His face and to his glory, He is able to heal us.

He can change our pain into wisdom, and to be further equipped.

He can take all of our resentment and somehow transform our heart to forgiveness, because that is what He done for us on the cross.

So I hope you and I can choose to look up to the tree of life, to risen Christ. 

It is not us that lives, but Christ. 

It is only when we look up can we receive from Christ over and over again.

To be filled again.

So that we can give again out of an overflow. Our work in Him will never be in vain and He will reward us.

The tree of life is growing far above us, glimmering with eternal hope and justice.

🙏 Suggested Prayer：  

Dear Jesus, thank you for giving yourself to us, even before we realized the need for you. It is by your giving that we can also give generously. Help us to daily receive from you your love, and learn your way of giving. In Jesus name, amen.

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Thanks for reading！God bless you!